Bros Before Hos
by flylikeadcriss
Summary: Blaine visits Kurt and Rachel in New York. Rachel just wants to spend time with her brother. Kurt just wants Rachel to get out of the apartment already. AU Anderberry  and Klaine futurefic. Rated for sexual themes and a little language.


**So this occurred to me while I was reading another story about Rachel not wanting to share Kurt with Blaine. I started to wonder whether this conflict would occur when Rachel and Kurt actually moved to NYC together and Blaine stayed in Ohio. I'm also obsessed with Anderberry. I can't help it; they're both so tiny and they look similar enough, and I feel like they would be like Ryan and Sharpay from HSM only nicer. **

**Hence, this story.**

**T for sexual themes and a tiny bit of cursing. **

**I don't own Glee, Starbucks, Thailand, or the concept of Thai food. **

**I also think that I might be being overcautious with my ownership disclaimers.**

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><p>Kurt sighed. Pacing back and forth along the row of seats and checking his phone every ten seconds did not appear to be working to make the time go faster. Feeling defeated, he sat down, looking around for Rachel.<p>

He found her just seconds later, walking towards him in the crowd.

"What'd it say?" he called, not really caring if he was being too loud to be polite.

She reached him.

"Delayed," she said dejectedly. "At least twenty more minutes."

Kurt groaned as she sat down next to him.

"It could be worse," she reasoned.

"Rachel," Kurt said impatiently. "It's been weeks. _Weeks_. Plural."

"Someone's being dramatic today," Rachel muttered.

"Excuse me for taking one day to be the drama queen, Rachel," Kurt retorted.

They fell into silence. Kurt considered getting some coffee, but the line at Starbucks was insane and he'd already had a mocha earlier anyway.

"Once we get back to the apartment, I want to take Blaine to that Thai place right downstairs," Rachel said, breaking the silence. "I know he'll love it, one t—"

Kurt interrupted her with a high, fake laugh.

"What?" she asked, glaring at him.

"_You're _going to take him?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. She sighed.

"Well, I had hoped it could be a brother-sister thing," she replied dramatically. "But if you _must _come…"

Kurt laughed again.

"Rachel," he explained patiently. "_You're _not going to take him anywhere. He's my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in forever. _You're _going to clear out of the apartment for the night."

Rachel gaped at him.

"You can't be serious," she exclaimed. "He's my brother, and I haven't seen him in forever either!"

"So?" Kurt asked angrily. "Boyfriends get first dibs!"

"Who says boyfriends get first dibs?" Rachel asked angrily. "What about 'sisters before misters'?"

"That's for girls! Blaine's not a girl!" Kurt shot back. "What about 'bros before hos'?"

Rachel gasped.

"_What _did you just call me?" she accused angrily.

"Calm down, Rachel, it's just an expression," Kurt said patronizingly.

"Well, that's for straight guys, and Blaine isn't a straight guy either," Rachel argued. "You talk to him on Skype and call him way more than me, anyway."

"Rachel," Kurt explained slowly and patronizingly. "There are things that Blaine and I want to do that we can't get done over the phone—well, not as well as usual, anyway."

"Okay, first of all, _gross_, I try hard enough to not hear it happening at home, I don't need you telling me about it. Second of all, that's ridiculous. You're going to keep me from seeing my beloved brother because you want to… to…"

"The point is that I'm his boyfriend and I should see him first," Kurt said. "And I'm sure he'll agree with me when he gets here."

"We'll see about that," Rachel huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from him.

There was a minute of silence before Rachel spoke again.

"Blood is thicker than water," she muttered triumphantly, this expression having just occurred to her.

Kurt shook his head in annoyance.

"You know what's thicker than blood, Rachel?" he asked, a wicked smile appearing on his face.

Rachel shrieked and covered her ears. Kurt smirked.

Carefully lowering her hands from her ears, Rachel opened her mouth to retort before being distracted by something behind Kurt.

"Blaine!" she said excitedly, jumping up.

Kurt turned around quickly and saw that his boyfriend was indeed walking towards them from the gate.

"You're here!" Kurt said happily, running to meet Blaine.

Suddenly, he was intercepted by Rachel pushing between them to hug Blaine herself.

"I missed you!" she said, squeezing him.

"Rachel," Kurt said sweetly. "Let me hug my boyfriend _now_."

Rachel must have realized the threatening note in Kurt's tone, so she stepped back with a glare.

Kurt smiled at her before turning to Blaine and launching himself into his arms.

"_God _I missed you," he mumbled.

"Missed you too," Blaine agreed, pulling Kurt closer.

They finally pulled apart to see Rachel, staring at them and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Can I greet my brother now?" she asked Kurt sarcastically.

Blaine looked extremely confused.

"If you must," Kurt sighed.

"Fine," Rachel said, sticking out her tongue at him. "Hello, Blaine. I'm sorry that our reunion was so rudely interrupted by your boyfriend. I'm going to hug you again now."

She did, and Blaine sent a questioning gaze in Kurt's direction. Kurt just rolled his eyes.

"Should we get going, then?" he asked loudly, reaching out and grabbing Blaine's hand.

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><p>"Honestly, do you really think he wants to spend his first night in the city in our <em>apartment<em>?" Rachel asked scathingly as they stepped off of the elevator.

"Well, seeing as I'll be there, you won't, and I'm his boyfriend, I would think so. But maybe you could actually _ask _him, Rachel," Kurt replied.

They both whirled on Blaine, who looked extremely nervous.

"Um," he said, having listened to this the entire ride back from the airport and still not fully understanding what was going on. "Maybe Rachel could—"

"Why don't you let me tell you about this amazing restaurant I was going to show you before you make your decision?" Rachel interrupted, finding her keys in her bag. She noisily opened the door.

"Wow," Blaine said as they walked in. "You guys have a really cool apart—"

"I was actually going to _make _him dinner," Kurt retorted.

Blaine smiled.

"That's really nice K—"

"Oh? All right, if you were just going to have dinner, maybe I'll join you!" Rachel said brightly, sitting down primly on the couch. "Blaine, come sit and talk with me. Kurt, why don't you go start this wonderful dinner of yours?"

Kurt gave her his best bitch face.

"Rachel, you had better get out of this apartment right now so I can be with my boyfriend," he said threateningly.

"No, I think I'll stay here," Rachel replied, feigning innocence.

"Rachel, I haven't seen Kurt in a really long time—"

"You can't really _do _anything while I'm here, though, can you? I'm so sorry, Kurt," Rachel continued, obviously not sorry at all.

Kurt grimaced.

"Okay, Rachel, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this," he said. "But you leave me no choice. Blaine, come here."

Blaine shrugged and moved to stand next to Kurt.

"Rachel," Kurt said plainly. "I am going to start making out with your brother in exactly thiry seconds, whether you're here or not."

Rachel scoffed.

"You're bluffing," she said, not moving from her spot on the couch.

Kurt raised an eyebrow and pulled Blaine forward to kiss him. Blaine responded enthusiastically, figuring that whatever Kurt was planning would work well enough to get them an empty apartment.

They broke apart after a minute, Blaine blushing and not really looking at Rachel.

Kurt, however, smirked at her and waited for her response.

She laughed.

"Is that the best you've got? I am perfectly fine right here," she said stubbornly.

Kurt glared at her and pulled Blaine over to the couch to sit right next to Rachel, who automatically scooted a few inches away from them before stopping herself and glaring stubbornly back at Kurt again. Blaine's face was completely red by this point, but he wasn't protesting. He was getting to kiss Kurt, after all.

Then his mind went blank, because Kurt was _kissing _him, and he was involuntarily falling backwards a bit. He barely registered Rachel scrambling up from the couch with a squeal.

"It's not going to work," she said. "I've had to see you guys do worse then this."

Blaine barely heard her through the buzzing in his ears. Kurt, however, smirked again against Blaine's lips and moved his hand to just underneath the hem of Blaine's shirt.

They could tell from Rachel's sputtering that she was struggling. _So close…_

"You wouldn't," she said, trying to sound more confident then she felt.

Kurt pulled away from Blaine again, gave Rachel a hard stare, and started to pull Blaine's shirt up.

"Okay!" she shrieked. "Okay, I'm going!"

Kurt smiled.

"Have fun," he called, before beginning to kiss Blaine again. His only response was the front door slamming.

Immediately, they both broke into a fit of giggles.

Trying to stifle them, Kurt kissed Blaine again, sliding his hands back under his shirt.

"Mmm," he hummed against Blaine's lips. "That would have been easier if you were physically capable of being rude to people."

"You're assertive enough for both of us," Blaine mumbled in response between kisses. "Besides, _I _can't kick her out, or she'll tell our dads."

Kurt hummed in agreement before letting go of Blaine slightly.

"I really was planning on making you dinner, you know," he said reluctantly.

Blaine shook his head.

"Dinner later. You first," he said firmly, tightening his grip on Kurt's waist.

"I can live with that," Kurt whispered before giving in completely and allowing everything that wasn't Blaine to temporarily cease to exist in his mind.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me almost as happy as Blaine when Kurt is kissing him. And that's pretty damn happy. <strong>


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